Friday, 30 January 2015

Unfinished journey



A new family came to stay at our neighborhood. They had only one teen daughter. Studying in std 9th. Her name was Sneha. Parents were well to do. Husband working for an Engineering company as General Manager and wife working for a bank.
As far as my knowledge goes they were happy family. I always see husband and wife go around shopping or any beaches together. But one thing I had noticed that they seldom took their daughter out with them.

Well that’s their personal matter and we were not that close to know the matter closely. From our neighborhood two children used to come often to my home for solving difficulties. I was never charging them any money. I reach home from work at around 5:30 pm and am with my family. Then these two children studying in standard 8th would come to solve any difficulties sometimes.

As far as I am concerned, I am happy with my family. My wife is a housewife and got a 5 year old son. Who is studying in std 1st. I used to see sneha many a times. She rarely smiled. I used to think Bade baap ki beti. Never even greets any one.

One fine day her mother was talking to my wife and she came to know that I was helping some children in the neighborhood to solve difficulties. So she through my wife requested me to help sneha in her difficulties. At first I was not ready because, already Sneha was going for tuitions. This would be an extra burden on her. Then after much request from my wife I said ok.
The next day evening at around 6:30 pm Sneha came to our house for tuitions. She had brought her science book with her. I found her to be a brilliant student. She was having good knowledge of the subject. But during the interaction I understood that she was a quiet girl, non friendly in nature. Any way that’s not my concern, I thought.

Everyday Sneha would come and I used to help her solve few difficulties. One day I asked her why she needed to come here. She was already good at her studies. Then she replied that it’s her parents wish. They want her to become doctor, so stressing more on her studies.

Slowly day by day she became comfortable with me and my wife. She started to speak more now. Since she used to speak very little I used to tease her as mystery girl. One fine day as I was helping her in maths she started crying. Even I was shocked. I never said anything that day. Then why should she cry. I was not getting the reason. My wife too was shocked. Asked her what was the matter? I told my wife to let her cry for sometime and calm by herself. Then she stopped crying and told me “Today is my birthday. My parents gave me the gift in the morning and went away. Never asked me whether I need anything to give to my classmates. In the evening too they are not bothered. They don’t like me. I am bad girl.” I was also sad to hear that. I said “May be your parents had tough day today”. She again said “Everyday is tough day for them” and started crying.

I calmed her and told her not to worry. Be happy with your friends. To which she replied that her parents were not very happy that Sneha has any friends. So I don’t have any best friend. My wife gave her sweets and we both greeted her for her birthday. Then she left for her home.
But that made me understand the reserved nature of Sneha. I understood what is going wrong. Parenting this way is really harmful. I and my wife decided that Sneha needs friend and we both will be best friends to her.
From next day our approach towards Sneha changed. We were very warm to her. I knew that she was good at studies so there was no need for me to repeat everything what she learns at school as well as tuitions. Now she was willingly open to us. She would share her school incidence to us. Any other matter would be discussed by my wife. Slowly I was becoming her father and my wife her mother.
She started scoring better marks. Always her parents shouted at her though she was the highest in the class. I always wanted to have a discussion with her parents One day I just started by saying that Sneha is good at studies to which her Father replied” But the marks aren’t that good. She needs to improve a lot if she has to become a doctor.

So I thought that there was no need to discuss further. Their approach to their child is not friendly. They believe that their daughter should be the way they want. I felt very pity for her. But I knew myself and my wife together can swing her back to colorful life.

She started participating for sports event. She was selected for March past. But her parents did not willingly approve. Sad part was that they said they won’t attend the sports day as they are busy with their office works.

So she came to me and said to me to come for the sports day. I took a leave. With my wife and son we went to see her sports day. It was lovely and I was thrilled to see Sneha happy. She was enjoying the event. After her march past she came to us and embraced me and my wife. She said thanks for coming and started crying. Tears also rolled out from my eyes. The situation was that we have replaced her parents. Her parents never considered the plight of their child. In fact they had only one child and they should have been the support and love for her, but its all opposite. That day she enjoyed our company and when she was getting back to home her face slowly dropped. She was again bit sad. I asked why she was sad to which she replied “My parents will not be happy that I took part in sports event. Also won’t hear what I have to say. They never listen to my grievances. I am their enemy. I am bad girl that is the reason they dislike me.

Now how many times I have to tell her that though they do not show love to their child, they have immense love in heart. She was never feeling comfortable at her own house. That was the tragedy.

One day I told my wife to get closer to Sneha’s mother and know the fact. As per my instruction, my wife one day had long discussion and from the discussion we found that they were expecting a son and a girl was born to them. Also that they did not go for a second child because her husband was afraid that if the second one also turns out to be girl than it will be a problem.
Though they had feeling for their daughter they were not expressing the feeling. My wife did try to explain the mental condition of Sneha which she said that happens with every girl and that she will be alright later.

I was not happy with the answer. But what can I do? Any way Sneha was studying well and was turning slowly into cheerful girl in our company.

Than it happened one day. Her mother got transfer to Mumbai. So there was confusion at their home. So with numerous requests her father too got the transfer. And they will be taking away their daughter with them. That was very sad for me and my wife. She was our daughter but legally and biologically she belonged to her parents. I had no right to stop them from taking their daughter with them.

As the days were nearing for Sneha to go to Mumbai, she was becoming reserved again. She came to us often and cried. She told us that she does not want to go to Mumbai. I brought her nice dress and other gifts and gifted that to my daughter Sneha.

On the day when she went to Mumbai She did not come to our house. May be sadness had enveloped her.

Any way she had got admission in one nice school. Thereafter she used to call us everyday to tell us what her day was in school. And we always made time to talk to her because we were like her parents and also a friend.


We missed Sneha at every moment. After her call we would sit and discuss about the cute Sneha and how her parents were ruining her.

This went on for many months may be 6 month. Then suddenly we refused to get her daily call. We waited for 2 days….3 days….. Unable to stand the mystery I decided to call her. When I called her, the call was attended by her father. As soon as he heard my sound he started sobbing and told me in choked voice that Sneha is no more in this world…. She committed suicide by slashing her wrist in the bathroom.

What should I say?.... Though he was continuing to talk to me… I could not hear his voice. I was shocked… no words to talk…. Tears rolling by my eyes…. I have lost my own daughter…… I just fell down on my chair….. and started crying …….my wife rushed to my side and asked me what was the matter?  I just said Sneha committed suicide… she is no more…….. My wife couldn’t believe that….She embraced me and we cried …. Cried and cried….. How can she do that….?... She could have runaway from her home and come to us…..

Now it was also guilt for me… Now I started to think that I could have done lot of things to save her……But even I could not do……

Whom to blame…..Is it her fault that she was born as girl?.....Is it her parents fault for not being friend with her?....Or is it that god gave me an opportunity to save a girl and I just lost it…..

I recollect the last conversation had with her she told me that she was once again lonely in her life… I want to be like a free bird….. I want to enjoy my life…. I want to come out of the reserve ness….. I want to smile a lot… want to laugh for no reasons….. To which I had said… don’t worry everything will be alright….Please Don’t think so deep…… Yeah…. I do had tears in my eyes when I was talking to her that day……. I was just listening…… because she was talking and talking……. She had said she wanted to talk and doesn’t feel like stopping….. Now I understood… She had decided to move away from her parents permanently…… But I knew she was sad to leave me and my wife…………….

I would say however busy we are we should be friend to our children. They have lot of feelings… they want to share and know many things…. We should have time for them… I understand this is the reason why our children take up drugs and alcohol… we may think they fell into bad company without reason. Most of the times to get away from loneliness they make bad company……

The journey which Sneha started in life ended up unfinished……..