Memory down the lane
After 20 years I got an opportunity to visit the city where
I started my career. The city has changed a lot. Beautiful gardens and parks
are all becoming extinct and in place of that I find only big storey buildings.
I am having 2
days official work. Have to meet a client. Just refreshed those old golden days
where we colleagues used to work together and the week ends which we used to
celebrate … gone are the days… after leaving the city I never kept any contacts
with any of the colleagues and I pray I do not bump on any of my old
colleagues.
Well after a long flight journey I checked on to the best
hotel in the city.. yes today I can afford 5 star and 7 star hotels. Proudly
can say I am the owner of a reputed software company. Had I been in this city I
would have not become businessman.
Since too tired I just retired to bed as early as possible
but not before a good hot bath and simple dinner.
The alarm rang… I had to get up…. Got ready as I have to
meet the client at exact 8:30 am. So got the cab at 7:15 and drove to the
clients company. I reached there at 8:00 am… too early I suppose. The security
guard would not allow me in as no one had come. The security Guard told me that
most of them will reach by 9:00 am.
Waiting for some one is always boring. But then have to
since I always make a point to reach somewhere as early as possible.
At around 8:45 the boss of the company came in… asked the
security Guard to let me in. He guided me straight to their conference hall.
The details of the meeting cannot be disclosed but am happy to say that I got
the contract. This contract was special for me because this was the first step
of our company getting an opportunity to work in the city where I started
working. I had told my GM marketing to stay away... I will handle this client.
Then tomorrow I have to come again to outline the beginning
of business with this new client.
So at around 2:30 pm I left the client’s place as happy man
straight to the hotel. Then I had a quick afternoon nap. Which I could not take
for months. Got up around 5:00 pm and thought of going to the mall. A new mall
that have come up in the city. After roaming a bit I spotted a familiar looking
faced lady with a teen… Do I know her? Yeah. How can I forget my first love?
Though she has put on some weight the charming face was not there…. The face
expresses some sadness. Even without me knowing tears rolled down my cheek. I
just managed to wipe and move on. What should I do? should I meet her?….. Should
I talk to her? My heart was beating fast… don’t know what to do.
I just followed her automatically … saw that she with the teen
entered into the restaurant. The kid was cute.. may be 12-14 years old.
But then if I talk to her I will disturb her peaceful married
life. Why should I make entry in to her life and spoil her good frame of mind.
And also I will be more jealous to know about her married life. I never married
in life because of the faith I lost on girls. Today I am 45 years old eligible
bachelor. But then I am happy now… my mind have responded very well to the
tragedy in my life and never allowed any woman to crop up into my mind. But
then today I am getting disturbed after many years…. The girl whom I loved the
most in my life just walked past me and she didn’t even say hi how are you?.. I
recognized her but then she should have also recognized me….. hmm… dejected
again… But then even I had the opportunity to go and talk to her…..but my mind
wouldn’t allow me to go near her…talk to her.. My heart would have never
allowed me to talk to her with ease…..
I did not wait any more to see her.. Walked out of the mall
and went straight to the hotel…. Ordered some drinks… whisky… which is my favorite.
I had drunk around half a bottle… and then had my dinner…
and went to the balcony took a chair and thoughts of my youth full days in this
city came lingering around…
When I had first reached here after getting selected from
campus directly was a joy… my first work... My company had given me bachelor’s
accommodation. We were three of us… me, Sunil and Vikas. Sunil and Vikas had
joined few days back... they were from different state… so we introduced
ourselves and then slowly the friendship between us started growing… We were
more of friends than colleague. They were from other department but then we
would meet in the evening and go to the room together... Weekends would be
grand... a bottle of whisky and we three together buy some chicken and party
till late night. But then it was bachelor life for all of us.
The working environment was good… but presence of young
beautiful girl working close to me always disturbed me…. She would always give
me a killing look and smile which I felt always pierced my heart….. One day I
decided to share my views to my room mates... When I cracked the nut they just
stared at me…. And said are you mad? We heard that she is just happy go lucky
rich girl…. She doesn’t know meaning of love… for her love doesn’t exist…that’s
all we can say now…. But then I thought these guys were jealous…I had never
felt for any girl before... my whole education life had been very serious…. My
aim to become somebody in life prevented me from entering into somebody’s heart
or never allowed any one to enter my heart….
Slowly I started getting closer to her….her name Shivani…
nice name….matches with her charming face….My sleep was becoming lesser… my
mind thinking more of her… and then by going against the advice of my roommates
as well as some colleagues….
I proposed her……. But then she said let me think and let you
know after 2 days….. That was the difficult part of my life I had proposed her
on one Friday and then I have to wait till Monday… 2 days holidays were
unbearable… did not sleep properly till Monday came…..
On Monday I was very uncomfortable facing Shivani.. While
she was very cool giving me killing look…. Then I was getting dejected…. As she
was not telling me anything… atlast unable to bear the mystery… I went and
asked her reply… she smiled and asked me... whether I was serious… then I said
yes… to which she said her reply is positive….. That was it…. I have won a
heart…. Am in love which will never break……I was very happy… I gave treat to my
close friends and colleagues a treat on the very day evening...
But I could see Vikas, Sunil, Reshma, Ankita and few more
colleagues was not that much happy… but I decided to ignore….Ankita hinted
something…. Dear, always be prepared for all types of ups and downs in life…
may be in love or professionally…. Hope Shivani will be a changed girl from
today……
But my heart will not allow negativity to enter… Heart
doesn’t want to believe all others say….
Remaining days were the most beautiful days of my life…
never lost an opportunity to impress her. By this process I automatically
started excelling in my professional life too.
She never made me feel that she ignored me. I started
spending more of my spare time with her.
Many a times my colleagues would remind me that she was not
to be trusted. But love was blind…… I can see no bad in her….
I started buying expensive gifts. Which she would accept
with love looking eyes. Also she had given me lots of gifts… a wrist
watch…..Shirts…. T-Shirts…. Etc…..
There were another group of colleagues…. Among them were
Anand, Rakesh, Sid… and so on. Shivani Was close to them... I would sometimes
feel jealous of their friendship. One day a good friend of mine Ankita told me
that Shivani was horrible girl,,, and sorry to say that she is cheating behind
you with Anand and group. Without your knowledge she is going around with them….
Even have partied overnight… A wave of heat ran my body… should I believe her…
err…err.. no I will not may be Ankita is jealous. I listened to her and smiled.
I will not believe anyone unless I see something with my eyes…
That evening was difficult… but then the strongest
relationship is built on Faith and trust. If I start doubting her then I will
spoil relation ship… I thought I will not spy on her… if I catch her cheating
that will be last day. I feared for the worst… so just ignored and loved her,
more than before.
Now it was a nice rainy week end… I called up shivani and
asked whether we can meet.. she said she was busy with some household work… and
I also ignored… have to respect her work…Then on Monday few of my colleagues
told me why are you becoming a laughing stock… she is cheating on you… this
Sunday she was with Anand… next Sunday she will be with different man… Poor
you….. You are becoming Katputhli….. Doubts started creeping in strongly then
before… I simply went up to Anand and said how was the week end.. to which he
replied…. Many things cannot be explained openly…. I was dumbstruck… should I
believe that he was with Shivani…. When I looked at Shivani she came up to me
greeted me with usual hug and said dear missed you this weekend... Don’t worry
I am always yours…. This was enough for me to break all the ice… hey why I was
thinking badly about her? No she will not cheat on me….
Things went on smoothly for one more month… any body would
define both of us as love birds… Then one weekend I decided to go to her house
and give a surprise.. Because she had told me that her mom was going to Dubai where her father was
working.. and that she would be alone with her sister….
I purchased a nice bouquet and reached her house. My heart
beating fast I pressed the calling bell.. but then there was no sound.. power
was not there… Since door was slightly open I pushed and went inside…. Then I
heard some giggling sound.. I went into that direction… Also could hear a male
voice… the bedroom door was slightly open then I saw the most shocking scene of
my life… My love shivani was in arms of a stranger… He was kissing and fondling
her and she was moaning… I stood there a broken man.. my love was in the arms
of a stranger.. I had never seen this man before…. What a mess… felt like
piercing the heart of both with sharp weapon…I was burning inside… tears
rolling down a cheek… I turned away and ran out of the house… threw the flower
bouquet in to the dustbin and started my bike went straight to the suicide
point…
Stood at the edge of the hill… but did not have courage to
jump.. what a coward am I?.. I thought to myself…..I went to the bar drank a
lot and didn’t knew where I went … when I got up I was sleeping in the park..
it was 7:00 pm in the evening….
Lost everything I went to room..
Told my room mates that I am not feeling well and slept
without eating anything…
Morning told my colleagues that I am not well.. wont be
going to office
Tuesday too I was not feeling to go to office…
How can I go and meet that cheater girl…. How can I face my
colleagues who always warned me…. Hmmm… May be because of my colleagues I am
still alive….They always told me about Shivani and that I should be brave to
face any consequences. May be their words were strongly scripted in my Brain somewhere……thats
why I could control and be alive…..A broken man has nowhere to go… I cried the
whole day…. I banged my head against wall lot of time… I was not getting
hungry… not eating food and oops grown beard…..was looking very weird.
On Wednesday morning I went to office… Shivani came up to me
first and asked what had happened to me… my eyes were becoming wet…. But then I
was helpless… could not even shout at her…..nothing I said went up to my chair
.. and started my work. I was rude to my colleagues… the cheerful Arun was
dead…. Broken Arun was working now without any interest and life becoming
miserable… I typed a resignation letter and went to my project leader’s cabin…
She greeted me… and asked about my health… I just broke down and could not control…
she consoled me asked the reason.. I handed her the resignation letter and told
her my tragedy… even she agreed I had chosen a wrong girl.. but however she
hoped that Shivani would change after bonding with me… But then she started
telling me stories and other rubbih things to make me continue work.. but then
I was adamant. I wanted to leave... She asked me where I will go... to which I
said I don’t know... and I asked her whether she knows any vacancy somewhere….
Then she thought for a moment and said... my friend in Bangalore needs a good programmer… I will
talk to him and let you know… I requested her consider my resignation and then
told her not to tell any one in the company... even she told HR not to tell
anyone about my resignation.
By evening Madam came and told me about the opportunity in Bangalore .. Yes He needs
someone very urgent… I have talked to him about you and he is ready to take
you… he will call you and be ready for telephonic Interview…. After about 1
hour I got call and the interview was great… I put all my efforts to earn a
place there… because I wanted to run away from here…
I told him I will join on Monday…. And then conveyed my
decision to my Project leader. She told me about the rules... that I will have
to forfeit one month’s salary... to which I agreed and told her to relieve me
by Friday… She and HR kept it very confidential... nobody in the company knew
about my resignation. All my colleagues including my room mates were upset … I
wasn’t talking to them properly… I started even avoiding Shivani….She sensed
that something was wrong... her closer friends would come and ask the reason...
to which even I shouted at one of them at top of my voice….. That’s the very
first time I shouted in the office... I was always known for my calm nature
everyone started looking at me in surprise manner… During lunch time Ankita
came to me and told me that she sensed something has gone wrong with my
relationship with Shivani…. But I wasn’t opening up…
On Friday the last day of my office, Shivani came upto me
and said.. whats the problem?. Why I was avoiding her… tell the reason... if
you are hurt with anything tell me we will sort out… but speak, If its my fault
shout at me… but please I beg you not to do this to me.. Please… I said to
myself... what an actor… she did everything wrong and asking me whether it was
her fault… I could not speak anything to her… just gave an angry smile and went
on…. I handed all my work to Project manager and got relieving letter from
company and went home by afternoon… I packed all my belongings and started off
to Airport. Flight was at 8:00 pm.. I reached airport by 5.00 pm and after
clearing security checks went to the Cyber café at airport and from there I
wrote mail to all my colleagues and thanked them for being so nice to me….and
that they will never see me any more
And to Shivani.. I wrote very short mail... explained her
that I was leaving the city forever… and the reason also explained in short.
Just told her that Sunday afternoon I had come to your house with Flower
bouquet and I found you enjoying your precious time with a stranger….i had seen
everything…
All the best for your life.. go on cheating everybody in
life…. I will never come again in your
life… Bye
Regards
Arun
I ended the mail and then and there decided...That this was
the first and last time I fell in love.. No more place for any girl in my life…..I never want to go through any pain related to love …. Even if I am
married I would always doubt my wife and will never have a happy married
life….. And I bid bye to the city…. Watching it from the air…. That was the
turning point of my life… and is what I am today………..
It was 11:00 pm my memories of the city was not so good…
slowly I crept onto the bed and slept… waiting for morning to come…
I got up as usual around 7 am in the morning. As I was
having my breakfast I got a call. An Unknown voice... said did you recognize
me… I said no… again the voice said... I am Vikas … Vikas Sharma.. Your room mate 20 years
ago….. I was thrilled to hear that... we decided to meet in the
evening….because next day early morning I had to leave to Bangalore …..I went to the clients place…
signed MOU for the contract and came back to hotel.
As promised Vikas came in the evening… He had put on lot of
weight... he had grown a bit older... with hair graying faster than mine…the
meeting was an emotional one…
The first thing he asked me was married? I said no… what
about you… yeah I am married 2 kids by now…..both studying… while you donkey
you spoiled your life because of the Shivani…….I said I was the happiest man….
Till yesterday…. Yesterday I saw Shivani with a Teen possibly her child…when I
went to the Mall.
Do you know Arun, Started Vivek…. After taking a Sip of
whisky…. On Monday after you left there was big hungama in the company….everybody
read your mail. Everyone became emotional…specially our friend circle…it was on
that day we came to know Ankita’s feeling for you… she shouted at Shivani in
front of everyone… blamed Shivani for everything…… Later we came to know that
Ankita was in Love with you….
Oops I could not believe what Vikas told me just now….. But
thought should listen what he has to tell.
Vikas continued. After that Shivani became very sad… was not
talking with any one….I remember that she went home early that day… and did not
turn up for a week.. after that we learnt that she went into depression and was
admitted in a hospital for brief period…
Then she became a good girl… stopped flirting with boys….
Started a disciplined life…But it was late she lost a man who could have been a
wonderful husband.
After 3 years she got
married to a guy who was a business man. But their marriage lasted only for 4
years…. We say how we sow we reap; her husband started having relation with her
sister…. Shivani caught them red handed… She again went to depression…. After
coming out of it she filed for divorce…. To add misery to her life… her husband
married her sister…..Life became a mess for her…. Her daughter stays with her
but her life changed drastically…..she became very quiet… as if resigned from
materialistic world…. There was a big pause for some moment.
By the way Vikas… How did you get my Number… I interrupted …
to which he said… Shivani’s friend… Anand is working in the company in which
you went for the deal… he saw you coming
out but could not talk… he got the number from the security guard… where you
had left one Business card… He then called me up and gave me the number….So
where is sunil now? I asked Vikas…. He said ooh he is in Australia now... Whenever he comes
we meet sometimes... But our main discussion would be about you... Since you
disappeared from our lives
What about Ankita? I asked… Ankita is still not married…
Vikas replied… She said she could not look upon any other man... If ever Arun
got married than she will not marry this life… and if ever I meet him and find
that he is not married then I will propose him….
Can I meet her? I asked Vikas…. Of course came the reply…. I
was happy that still there was someone who loved me… what should I do…. Again
dilemma came in my mind…. I loved a girl who was cheating on me and another girl
loved me secretly in her mind and did not disturb me by expressing it to me…
that means she cared me a lot…Now I was very much eager to meet her…
Vikas called her up and she came within 30 minutes…. It was
a surprise for her as vivek did not tell her about meeting me….
She was looking gorgeous… very beautiful now… As she saw me...
she steadied her walk... Looked into my eyes and tears started coming out of
it… I stood up to receive her… She just came in and hugged me tight…. I missed
you each moment in my life… I cannot believe that you are here…
Even I could not believe that there was a girl waiting for
me for last 20 years…..we sat down together and chat went on…. I saw sparkle in
her eyes when I told her that am still bachelor… By end of the meeting I
started getting attracting to this beautiful lady Ankita…. Looking in to her
eyes I told her… that I am leaving tomorrow morning….when I come next time here
may be hmm… next week … shall I meet your parents?…..If you love living with me
in Bangalore
for rest of my life…. I would be the luckiest man on earth… and also I am sorry
to understand you late…..
She just started weeping… tears of joy was rolling down her
cheek and gestured to me that she was ready….. For the first time after 20
years… I kissed a lady…. Vikas too was happy for me…..
The next day when I was leaving back to Bangalore … looking down at the city from
Flight … I said…. I am going to be your Son – In - Law very soon…….
