We see lot of changes in the new generation. There is a big generation gap… Remember those old days during 60’s and 70’s… Respect for the elders were high…. Parents were looked upon well by their son and daughter in laws… though there were many conflicts still managed to live together… But the present generation doesn’t have time for all those things…
The problem starts when a man gets married.. The daughter in law doesn’t like the mother in law… or father in law ….may be because their style of living and habits doesn’t suits them,,,,, but at the same time have high regards for their own parents…
The conflicts slowly rises in such a way that daughter in law starts planning for a separate residence away from in laws….. If one studies carefully this trend is increasing…. Parents live a lonely life in their own way with a vacuum of happiness…
Here one needs to understand that when a child is small any wrong doing or wrong words are forgiven and we carry on… but during old times too human are like children….. They have delicate heart which we fail to understand… any mistake from their side is not forgiven… normal way to say “Oh you are old and experienced in life and shouldn’t be saying that…..
Here I believe that a son gets sandwiched between mother and wife…He may be loving his parents but has to maintain happy relationship with his life partner too… this leads to conflict… I don’t understand why the wife cannot love husband’s parents with transparency… in the same way as she loves her parents…. If a husband at any point of time says bad about his in laws then wife cannot bear it…. Harsh words start flowing from her… like why you said so about my parents and so on……
Yes husband should respect her parents the way he respects his parents similar way wife should respect husband’s parents the same way as she respects her parents….
In the old age the only happiness the parents have is being with their children and Grand children… and we deprive them of this life…..
I have seen many well to do families that send their parents to old age home… what’s happening to us… we don’t love our Parents any more????……
I will give an example of a lady known to me…. I happened to visit them and proudly she said this to me “We have sent Husband’s mother to old age home… I cannot take care of her….she speaks rubbish….” And when I asked about her parents she replied “ Oh they are not keeping well I do visit them often and have appointed some maid to take care of them… its old age you see….” But for her husband’s mother it was burden for her and did maximum she could do for her own parents……” I didn’t know whether to laugh at her or sympathize her for her folly…
When we send our parents to the old age home… we are teaching our children how to deal with old age….Somewhere deep in their brain it will be scripted that easy way to deal old age is to send them to old age home……
Why we forget that husband too has parents…. He too has deep feelings for them…. We all are living in this world because of our parents… the first step we took on this earth was with the help of our parents… can you imagine the day you were born?... Parents would have been the happiest couple on the earth to see their own child….. starts working more hard for the betterment of their children… Forgives their children for their wrong doings and tries to guide them properly…. They try to send their children to the best school affordable to them….. and always tells their children to study well… because they want their children to be better person than them… they want him to get a better job than their own and pray that their children live more easy life then them…
As life moves on children starts finding their own lifestyles… The life styles of their parents becomes inferior for them
Then one day he gets married….. May be arranged or love marriage…. Then suddenly his life changes in a vast way….
Living away for job is understandable… In a small house… your parents had taken care of you as well as their parents but present generation feel that their house is too small to accommodate parents….. Whenever parents visit them son readily goes to railway station and books return ticket for them so that they return on time and don’t spend more time with them. Here children decide for how many days their parents should stay with them….
Very pathetic…
I am not saying that all are like that… but would say most of them in these new generations are the way I just explained…
My parents live with me…. I feel many times… I am not able to give them their best though I am trying my best…. Thanks to my wife… she looks after my mother the way she looks after her own…. My father left us to abode… but cannot forget the struggle he took to make me what I am today… tears roll down my eyes when I remember the last journey of my father from our apartment to crematorium …….. But the thing I always cherish is that I never disowned my parents.
The best way to solve problems is to sit together whenever there is difference and sort out the matter. You explain them your difficulty and also listen to their problems and come to mutual conclusion beneficial to both you and your parents…. Many a time parents may have ego like a child… but we have to make them understand politely with examples so that they understand… remember what I said… their heart at the old age is like a child…
The only thing I would say is that whatever may be … parents are parents…. Their love is infinite and our love to them should be also infinite….. Love them… no one knows for how many days we will be on earth… we are all travelers in this life… Our Journey starts at Birth and ends at death… and in this journey try to do maximum good thing… One who cannot love parents cannot love any body even god disowns one who doesn’t love parents….
Goanz……
